Foster care

I was watching Ghost Whisperer last night and once again the behavior of the villain was blamed on foster homes. I get so annoyed when the writers do this. How often does someone say "OH NO cant send the kid to a  foster home" as if it were a prison sentence. I was a foster mom for over 12 years and I know I made a difference in my foster kids lives however short a time they spent with me. I cared for them as if they were my biological children and was sorry to see them leave. Sure there are bad foster parents, just as there are bad doctors and cops. But doctors and cops usually aren't maligned on TV unless its part of the plot. For the most part the cops and doctors are good guys.

Why cant we have a show about GOOD foster parents? Judging Amy showed foster care in a better light, but still didn't accurately describe what foster parents are. Foster families are desperately needed and yet little is done to encourage people to consider it. My years as a foster mom were some of the most rewarding ever. Just knowing I was able to help a child for a little while was a great thing. Most of my foster kids wont remember me, but I hope the older ones do and appreciate what I did for them. 

If you have that empty nest feeling and want to do something for a child, consider foster care. Your older children too, will benefit by learning to care for those less fortunate than themselves. Considering adoption? Well consider foster care. I adopted 4 brothers from foster care and I really had no intention of adopting at all. My biological children were grown and on their own, but I fell in love with them and they were freed, sooooo 15 years later and I am still glad I adopted them......most of the time.

My favorite saying is .. Do something for a child today, they are our future.

My second favorite saying is "Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave." mmmm that might be my favorite. Yep it is.

Potty training

Why is there so much confusion and stress about potty training? Is it because adults are not comfortable with toilet issues? Does your spouse come into the bathroom when you are using the facilities? I bet not. How about public rest rooms. Do you wait until the room is empty before you tinkle? Or if its a crowded room do you try to 'go' slowly so its doesn't make noise? Oh and yes you line the seat with all kinds of paper and then kind of hover over the seat to go. Then you open the door with your hand, go to the sink and turn on and off the water with your hand and then open the main door with your hand. So your hands have all those germs of the slobs that don't wash, no matter how careful you are. Studies have shown there are more germs on doorknobs than on toilet seats.

But I digress, I do that a lot. Back to potty training. Why do we call it a potty anyway? Kids can say toilet as easily as potty. but moms have to use a different word, like it changes the function. Then there is the reward chart, bribery. Do you need to bribe your kid to do what comes naturally? I bet you even change the tone of your voice when discussing the toilet.

Did you bribe your kid to walk, talk, eat solids? Did you find a euphemism for walking, talking etc? When you plunked your baby in his/her car seat did you ask them if they wanted to sit? How about the high chair? Did you call it by another name and bribe them to sit down to eat?

Toilet training should be a natural, relaxed part of growing up. I have trained over 20 babies and they were all trained BEFORE they were 3!!

(check out my book: http://outskirtspress.com/webpage.php?ISBN=9781432732660)

My thinking is train them before they can tell you why they refuse to do it. What I did is show the child the potty seat and let them examine it, play with it, sit in it, put dolls in it, for about a week. Just leave it where you intend to use it and don't comment. Its just a new addition to the decor. Then one morning take off the diaper and tell the child to sit on the potty. Have them sit for about 5 minutes while you busy yourself at something very close to them. For example if the potty is in the bathroom, clean the sink, wash the mirror, etc. Talk to your child while you are cleaning, tell them that the potty is for their pee and poop, but don't insist they go. 2 hours later bring them back to the potty and clean the sink again. Continue every 2 hours for a week or so, all the while making it seem as natural as sitting in their high chair. If they don't go, don't give up. However you should have a pretty good idea of your kids toilet habits and try to anticipate their needs before they go. Especially bowel movements, kids this age tend to hide when they are about to make.

When they finally go in the potty make a big deal of it, but NO rewards. Just praise them. When baby first walked you made a big deal of it, but didn't buy them a toy. (I hope) rewards imply that this is a different thing that they are doing, instead of a natural every day thing.

I also don't like the 'pull-ups'. Once you decide to train you need to buy the baby cotton training pants, so they realize they are wet. And I wouldn't stress the 'big kid' thing either. Some kids don't want to be big. Those pull-up ads irk me. If the kids is old enough to be singing and running to the bathroom, they should be wearing underpants. Pull-ups are just another way to get money from gullible parents. The longer your kid wears diapers, the more money the companies make and the more soiled diapers go into the landfills.

So relax and don't stress yourself or your baby. Oh and enjoy your sparkling clean bathroom. :)

Coughs, nose bleeds and plants

I have been reading a lot lately about kids with chronic coughs and waking up with nose bleeds. Unless your child is sick their coughs are probably due to pollutants in the home and dry air. Nose bleeds are also due to dry air. So you can rush out and buy an expensive, ugly and noisy humidifier and set it up somewhere out of the way. Because its ungainly and doesn't match any decor. But then, since its out of the way, you will probably forget to add water and to keep it clean. 

Well I have a much better idea and in keeping with today's GREEN CRAZE. Buy house plants! Lots of them. They are nice to look at, teach kids about nature and best of all purify your home!! Plants take in carbon dioxide, as we all learned in biology and give off oxygen. But better than that they also take in air pollutants, like formaldehyde that is leached from plastics, benzine leached from paints and rubber and carbon monoxide from our heating systems. Plants also help a home get rid of smoke for those of you 'naughty' people that still think its OK to smoke in the privacy of your own home. 

Plants need water and absorb the water through their roots, the water travels up the stem depositing nutrients along the way and the excess water is transpired back out into the air through the leaves. This way plants help keep moisture in the home. Also if your home is too dry the plant will sag and let you know to water it. 

I can hear you say you don't have a green thumb and all your plants die. The most common cause of plants dying is over watering. Next comes forgetting to water them at all. Some genius came up with those pretty watering bulbs and I love them. If you haven't seen them, they are glass balls with a long spike on the end that you fill with water and stick into your plant. They are multicolored and can blend in with the plant or be a bright accessory. 

Do yourself and your kids a favor and go plant shopping today. Spider plants are a great way to start. They look good anywhere, are hardy and make babies. The kids will get a kick out of the little babies (spiders). Other hardy plants are rubber plants, pothos and ivy. Ferns are very pretty and cleanse the air, but they are harder to take care of.

Go green, buy plants and see those coughs disappear. Incidentally a dry house is also hard on the furniture and any books or pictures you have.

More hugging

The more I think about the hugging ban the more upset I am getting. Researchers proved that orphaned monkeys thrive on hugs and if left alone stop eating and become depressed. Now the esteemed educators of our human children have decided that hugs are a no-no. When I was a foster mom I had a rocking chair and when a new child came to live with me I would sit in my rocker and cuddle the frightened child. No matter what time of the day or night it was , the child soon calmed down and relaxed. 

I wonder what kind of future is waiting for us if kids dont get hugs, a pat on the back, a comforting hand on their arm and yes, even a high five. This country is all about freedom of speech, but GOD has been taken out of the schools. "My Two Mommies" has been introduced to first graders, os it's ok to be gay as long as you aren't religious about it. Kids can't hold hands, but are taught about 'safe' sex. How about teaching NO sex. There is no "SAFE" sex for teen agers. Even if they use protection their psyches aren't protected. All they learn is how to have sex without love. 

Ok I apologize, I didn't start this blog to be so serious. I just got carried away by this no touching rule. But I cant promise tomorrow's news wont set me 'off' again. Meanwhile I am off to think happy thoughts.

Why blog?

Ok first of all I'll admit that I'm old, but even old foks have good advice and for years I have been giving advice, first on AOL and recently in/on? different ezines that I get. So I decided why limit my pearls of wisdom to a few fortunate souls. Now I am taking a huge leap and spreading my unsolicited advice across cyber land. Most of it is common sense, but it seems as if common sense is disappearing the way of the polar bear. 

Why just this morning I read of a middle school in Connecticut that has forbidden kids to hug, shake hands or high five. It seems this edict was handed down because one boy kneed another in the groin. What has this to do with high fives? Where is the common sense?

I'm not writing this blog to promote my book, but it cant hurt. A little promotion never hurt anyone, so check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79gjSGiLhsk . And if your interested we can talk. 

Thats about all for now, see you tomorrow.